Do you feel one day you are on top of the world and the next you are tumbling downhill, desolate and aimless?
One day all those obstacles blocking your way seem insignificant while the day after you see then as an insurmountable mountain and want to give up right away?
Do you feel like you can’t get a hold on your emotions?
If so, let me comfort you with a cliché I’m myself not very fond of.
Here it goes:
My dear reader, that’s life! Full of ups and downs.
One day you’ll have the strength to overcome anything life throws your way while the next you’ll feel overwhelmed by the simplest of obstacles!
The solution – as I usually tell those persons I work with in my coaching sessions – is very simple.
And, again, it may sound like another cliché.
Or the latest fad.
But, I’m going to risk it anyway.
Because the solution, is none other than learning to live in and to enjoy the moment.
Yes, even if the moment presents itself quite challenging!
How?
How do you find balance in a present that is full of ups and downs?
1. Stop looking for the source of your unhappiness
“Nobody should ask: why am I unhappy?” That question carries a virus inside that can potentially destroy everything. If we ask ourselves that question, it means that we want to find out what makes us happy. If what makes us happy is different from what we have Now, then we must change once and for all or remain as we are, feeling even more unhappy. “
The words of Paulo Coelho (The Zahir) remind us that trying to find the source of our unhappiness will only bring us even more unhappiness.
So, stop asking yourself: “Why do I feel so bad? What is causing all these ups and downs? Why am I so unhappy?
And, ask yourself: “What makes me happy? What makes me live with joy and gratitude?”
When you see it clear, force your mind to replace those moments and things that make you feel exhausted, anxious, fearful and unhappy with those that makes you feel good.
2. Be kind to yourself
Don’t punish yourself for not feeling as happy as you think you should feel. As you know, sometimes it’s hard to avoid falling into a foul mood o felling irritated!
Allow yourself to feel what you are feeling without judging yourself and without condemning yourself for not being “perfect” and for not being that “positive” person you thought you were and that everyone insists you should be.
Positive people also get angry.
Positive people also have bad days.
So, be kind to yourself.
Don’t be overwhelmed in vain.
Allow yourself to feel without labelling your feelings as good or bad.
As the Dalai Lama himself says, “Anger is part of our mind, irritation is also part of our mind, but you can make anger come and go. Never keep it in your inner world because it will create a lot of distrust and more worry. “
3. Don’t believe everything you think
“The main cause of unhappiness,” says author and spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle, “is never the situation, but the reflection. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking. Separate them from the situation, which is always neutral.”
In other words, don’t believe everything that goes through your mind. Your thoughts are not always real, especially those that arise from fear.
Try to look for reasons to smile, to be grateful and to appreciate all that life offers you. Find everything that helps you generate kind and loving thoughts.
Trust that things will change, that the sun will shine again for you and that you will find balance again.
4. Growth is born out of dissatisfaction
Every problem and every challenge life sends your way comes with a great lesson.
Something you need to learn and master.
Something that will help you grow, expand and evolve towards the wonderful being you were born to be.
So, start looking at your bad days, your problems and difficulties as opportunities for growth.
Try to see all problems as challenges.
Look at all negative aspects in your life as opportunities to learn and grow.
Don’t run away from them condemning yourself.
Do you have a problem?
That’s alright.
Rejoice, dive into it and learn all there is to know to overcome it!
5. Forgive and break free from the past!
Don’t remain in the past.
Don’t obsess about what was or what could have been.
Forgive what happened and the characters that made you “suffer”.
Free yourself from the past.
Free yourself from the chains you’ve been wearing around your ankles until now.
Free yourself from the prison that you have created for yourself and in which you have locked yourself insisting on not wanting to forgive.
Let go of anger, bitterness and resentment.
Forgive yourself.
Forgive those who have treated you cruelly.
Forgive and you will find the balance.
And don’t forget that forgiveness is a gift, a precious gift that you should give yourself to find peace, happiness and balance.
Don’t forgive because you are weak, but because you are wise enough to understand that clinging to anger and resentment will only deprive you of the many wonderful gifts that life wants to offer you.
Can’t seem to muster the energy and strength to apply all the suggestions in this article on your own?
Do you feel it’s the perfect time to be guided in order to achieve the peace and inner balance you’ve been seeking for so long?
Do you need someone to help you enjoy the present moment?
Get in touch!
Find out how my Coaching sessions can help you live and enjoy the present to the fullest.
Your first 30-minute Coaching session is completely FREE.
Talk soon!
Ainhoa
